There are two types of people in life. One; people who you think are normal and it turns out, they are normal. Two; people who you think are normal and turn out to be SAVAGE AF ON A GO KARTING TRACK.
Thus were my thoughts, as I skidded and drifted into a 6 car pile up at the bottom of the Team Sport Go Karting ramp in Avonmeads, thinking, This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, Not with a bang but a – THERE’S AN OPENING HAHA BYEEEE SUCKAS zooming off, giving everyone else the finger.
Rewind to the beginning of the trip; as Part 2 of my birthday celebrations, my nearest and dearest took me to Team Sport Go Karting in Avonmeads.
After a panicked phone call from my sister (“We missed the turning, apparently we’re now on the way to Wales, so see you later I guess”) buying 50p disposable balaclavas which made us look like condoms and all the girls crying in the changing room over the boiler suits which didn’t fit any of us (hips don’t lie, or fit into a straight up and down racing suit, sorry guy at reception please can you change my suit for an XL please oh god goodbye my self-esteem) we rocked up into the briefing room feeling less bad-ass and more sweaty and hysterical.
A cheesy briefing video ensued, complete with SUPER LASER GRAPHICS and slow motion putting on of gloves and helmets, then an overview of the track and the lights; red meaning stop straight away, amber meaning slow down to a walking pace and green GO GO GO, we headed down onto the track.
Getting suited up, I felt my heart racing; partly from the pre-excitement of getting onto the track and partly because I was fearful of my bum being too big for the kart (a deep seated fear which I’m sure every girl has felt at some point).
After watching the group before us tear up the track, our group was finally called up. Helmets, on. Gloves, on. Seated in the karts (bum fit in, thank god). Brakes tested….AND GO!!!!!
The entire time I sped around the track, I had this stuck in my head:
Drifting around the hairpin turns, undercutting my friend numerous times (seeing the fear on her face and her steamed up glasses as I skidded past), screeching up the ramp and being consumed by my own rage when being taken over by another friend – Go Karting definitely brought out the worst in me. I laughed like a maniac when I saw my own boyfriend spin out and yelled at my own sister for undercutting me. WHO IS THIS MONSTER I HAVE BECOME?! I mean, to be fair, at least I didn’t get flagged for dangerous driving and told to calm down (here’s looking at you, Brad), but I was definitely not my usual self.
Go Karting is definitely one of the most fun and exhilarating experiences I have had this year and I absolutely recommend it if you’re not a grudge bearer because if it’s not competitive AF, then by Jove, I don’t know what is.
20/10 would go again, maybe next time requesting a montage of 80s Rock to accompany us.